Wade must have had visions of crayons and playtime in his dreams last night; he called out for 'colors' and 'cars' all night, while giggling in his sleep.
August and everything after
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Preparedness
SO true. Wish I had prepared more. :)
from here:
Think you are ready to have children? Hilarious new parent test taking mummy blogs by storm MIGHT just put you off...
PUBLISHED:10:05 EST, 16 October 2012| UPDATED:10:05 EST, 16 October 2012
Most broody mothers see having a child as a wonderful gift from God but one anonymous blogger has set about putting paid to that ideal.
A candid new parent test highlighting the high and lows of motherhood is taking the internet by storm after being reposted on countless mothering blogs.
The test - 14 steps to follow before you have children - was recently posted on Mamami by Chet, who was sent the parenting test by a friend.
Think you're ready for motherhood? Read this hilarious blog and reconsider that
'Being a parent has its ups and downs. I wouldn't change my title as "mummy" for anything in the world, however when this came through my inbox from a great friend it made me laugh (a lot!)'
If you think you are ready to embrace the joys of motherhood, we have printed the 14 tests here to see if you are really up to the challenge...
Test 1: Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Prepare for pregnancy by attaching a beanbag to your front says the blog
Test 2: Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Test 3: Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
You can kiss goodbye to precious beauty sleep as soon as you have a child
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.
Test 4: Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.
Test 5: Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Test 6: Going for a walk
The hilarious blog post details a new parent test for broody mothers
b. Go out the front door.
c. Come back in again.
d. Go out.
e. Come back in again.
f. Go out again.
g. Walk down the front path.
h. Walk back up it.
i. Walk down it again.
j. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
k. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
l. Retrace your steps.
m. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
n. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Test 7: Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Test 8: Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Feeding your child isn't as easy as it looks according to the test
Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
Test 10:TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.
Test 11: Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room and leave them there.
Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Test 13:Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Test 14: Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
FOUR
They say that time flies as you get older. I can pinpoint the day this happened- August 1, 2008. I was in the hospital waiting for my first baby. I look back at that day and think, what did I do until 10:35 at night? I didn't watch TV, I didn't read, I didn't listen to music, I am not sure I even talked to anyone. All I remember is tracing with my eyes the outline of the pregnant women illustration on the bed frame that was right in my line of sight when I turned my head to the right. I can still see that illustration. It took my mind off things, the curves of the pregnant belly, her flowing line drawn hair, her not swollen feet and legs. That is what I did for 24 hours, and I remember it being maybe two at the most.
The baby I was waiting for is now FOUR. Four years have past, and it feels like maybe two years at the most. She is intelligent, SO sweet, funny, bossy, loving, a little mean (to her brother mostly), fashionable, knows what she wants, loves ice cream and lollipops. She is everything I have always wanted and expected her to be. I look at her and cannot believe she used to be so tiny. She says to me all the time: 'Mommy. When will I grow little again?'. Oh to have her little again. I wouldn't change anything for the world.
The baby I was waiting for is now FOUR. Four years have past, and it feels like maybe two years at the most. She is intelligent, SO sweet, funny, bossy, loving, a little mean (to her brother mostly), fashionable, knows what she wants, loves ice cream and lollipops. She is everything I have always wanted and expected her to be. I look at her and cannot believe she used to be so tiny. She says to me all the time: 'Mommy. When will I grow little again?'. Oh to have her little again. I wouldn't change anything for the world.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Freud would be proud
Sylvie said this at dinner the other night. And YES- I am posting this on the internet. It doesn't mean anything, she is just a little girl who loves her daddy.
Happy Father's day Daddy! haha.
Sylvie rambles. All talk, all the time. Sometimes I think I am crazy listening to her- where does she come up with this stuff? She also comes up with little scenerios: what if mommy was little, what if this was my baby, Elephants are my pets, Princesses are my friends- all kinds of stories. So at dinner she came up with this one.
All in one breath, mind you, she say's:
'Mommy. If you were the baby then you would sleep in my bed and daddy and I would sleep in mommydaddys bed. You would be the baby in the bed and I would go to mommydaddys bed. right? right mommy.'
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Wade is TWO
Wade two years old- updates
He communicates wonderfully
likes to call everyone Mommy!
repeasts what we say- to learn new words
is still a truck
likes to play catch and in the water
likes to be naked
still hates to be dropped off at school
likes to snuggle in the morning and before bed
loves to read night time stories- he holds one book and 'reads' while I hold another
always has a sippy cup in hand
loves shoes
giggles when tickled under his ribs
when he wakes up in the morning- will stand in his crib until I come in, then he will lay back down and say 'nite nite'!
is a happy boy, until he is not fed
is unbelievably loud
looks like a four year old
loves music
cries when Ralph or I sing - but loves it when Sylvie sings
loves Yo Gabba Gabb
sits in a booster seat
has no interest in the potty
loves to brush his teeth
gives the best hugs
smiles with his eyes- the best
his nickname is WAde-o- sweet potato
sylvie callshim potato
:)
Happy Birthday to little Wade!! We love him so much.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Honey
Sylvie in the car today, at daycare, about to get out:
'Mama. If big people don't have any honeys then they don't have little seats like these in their cars (pointing to her seat). Right, Mama?'
I call my kids Honey. She thinks kids are honeys!!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
the Darwin award goes to.....
Wade :(
Two mornings in a row he has run out of the back door towards the car- faster than the automatic garage door can open. TWO DAYS IN A ROW he has run so fast he hits his head on the rising garage door.
When will he learn to duck?
The good news, he never cries. Just falls, looks back at Sylvie and I (me- trying not to laugh), gets up and continues running.
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